It was windy last night. I know this because sometime in the night, in the hushed darkness of night when everything in this house is still, I woke to the keening moan and scream of a westerly wind outside my bedroom windows. I smiled as I remembered that I used to doubt the ability of this old house to hold back the violent wind. I’ve since learned trust. Her foundation is strong.
The first night we spent in the farmhouse was a blizzardly night in midwinter. Joe had taken our eldest sons and had gone back to the empty shell of our previous house (about an hour’s drive) to collect the chickens and goats from their shelters and move them here to the 150 year old barn that sits a little behind, a little beside, the equally ancient farmhouse.
It had been a really rough move. Bad weather, too much stuff, not enough help, power lines that got run over by the moving truck, a house left in horrid condition, dead rats in the oven, children too afraid to go to sleep… I was done. We hadn’t managed to put the bed together and so I hastily made up the pull -out couch sitting haphazardly in the middle of the living room right where it had been deposited among the towers of boxes.
I laid down and as tired as my bones were, I was kept awake by the eerie, howling wind outside. On that night it seemed like a bad omen, like it was mocking me for the decision we’d made to buy this farm. Like it was challenging me to survive here. Go on, I dare you, it breathed.
But over the last 5 years I’ve grown to love the sound of the wind at night up here on this hill. The house, made cozier and cleaner than that first night, no longer scares the children, and it lulls me to sleep instead of keeping me awake now.
But as I lay awake last night, my thoughts were as stormy as the wind, and I was reminded of this verse:
“For he who doubts is like a wave blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” James 1:6b-7 NIV
I lay there listening to the wind, listening, and knowing I was guilty of being tossed to and fro by it in my own seasons of motherhood, and womanhood.
How often had I doubted where God had placed me?
How many days had I wasted, thinking perhaps I should be somewhere else?
This conviction led me to want to leave you with these challenges today, dear mothers:
Stand firm in the role God has placed you in this season of your life.
Don’t let the influence of this world threaten to toss you around.
Don’t listen to the voices trying to tell you that you could be more, do more, achieve more. You are perfect for this job, and you’re needed.
Be present, in your heart, your body, and your mind. Enjoy these fleeting days and count them all joy.
Be confident that as you fulfill your job as a daily mother to your children; meeting their every need, gathering them to your breast to nurse them around the clock, pulling them onto your lap to read them that story again, making another round of sandwiches, patiently training them, staying up late into the night to give them a listening ear and wise council; you are doing a job that no one else is as qualified as YOU to accomplish.
God will bless you, if you obediently put your trust and your faith, and your plans, in His hands.
The wind had died to little more than a gentle breeze by the time I woke this morning. And I was grateful, because so had the wind in my mind that had threatened to toss me around, causing me to doubt.
No more. For I am right where I’m supposed to be.